Are you angry at me?


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A few weeks ago a friend wanted me to go out and we set a date. As the date and time grew nearer the weather became very iffy. It rained and I became concerned about it Then when I went home, a personal matter came up and it was clear I needed to deal with it instead of going out. When I tried to suggest a compromise or re-scheduling my friend was upset. She said forget it Kenyatta.

I decided that the best thing to do was let some time pass. So today I sent her a message asking whether she was still mad at me. At the same time I received an invitation from a mutual friend to set up a discussion on Facebook. However it was an invite to use an app that I don’t use.

It is coming to the end of my vacation. I will be heading back to work and still won’t have closure on this issue. That is sometimes how things are. I became angry with some co-workers and decided it was best to avoid them. When someone do what I had expected I decided to break off communication. In the ideal world, it would be best to sit down and have a heart to heart discussion when we are upset.

But sometimes our words fail us. We are left with an unanswered message or a phone call that we don’t return. So, what is the opposite of anger? I will wait and see. This blog entry is the result of reading a sermon by the Rev Dena McPhetres of the First Unitarian Society. She said that anger can be a habit we use to protect ourselves. And she used a story by Kathleen Norris from her book “A Cloister Walk..”

I have ended some relationships in anger when, in hindsight, it would have been better to back away gracefully. It doesn’t seem possible to find that period to say to one another that whatever we were doing wasn’t working. To be able to find the opposite of anger.

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