Sometimes, dating

I had resisted  a friend for several weeks when she asked me about going out together. I ignored her calls and text messages because I was pretty certain we were not compatible. Yesterday I decided one date couldn’t hurt so I took her to a Chinese buffet I had read about on Yelp.

Sometimes, dating reminds you of unpleasant experiences, seeing someone with whom you have nothing in common and while there are no disasters, it is clear the two of you should not be doing anything social together.

Sometimes dating reminds me why my sisters and I are all divorced. We all made bad romantic choices. Partly because like the little cookie that came from the factory, a little piece had broken off us. We remained certain that we could be just as sweet as a regular cookie. Well, we’re still waiting. It’s hard to find someone who appreciates our particular brand.

Sometime dating reminds me how glad I am that I did not make certain choices. I avoided getting involved with women before I was emotionally ready. I got away from drugs before they took over me and stayed away from them.

Sometimes dating makes me appreciate myself that much more. I worked hard to improve my life this past year.  I learned a lot of new skills and I am always being trained to do more. If I had remained where I was at this time last year I would have felt stagnant like a glass of water you shouldn’t drink. Ironically the woman I went out with yesterday showed me the wisdom of my choices.

Sometimes dating is a long process. It took many years before I was at a point where I felt I could marry a woman. Only to discover I had many unresolved issues that I needed to resolve.

Sometimes dating is more than the creaking of bed springs, sitting together in church, holding hands and kissing in the streets or a lot of other illusions I once saw. It is a period of learning to trust. One of my readers wrote about enjoying my column with a spouse. That was heartwarming and made me think there’s spouse out there for me.



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