Looks like a landslide night

Landslide is a somewhat enigmatic love song from Fleetwood Mac. Something in the song speaks to me. And something in the Dixie Chicks video of the song speaks to me even more. The song is gentle and speaks of getting older. It was written by Stevie Nicks for her love Mike Fleetwood. And I have played her youtube version of the song as well.

Just the words talking about handling the seasons of my life strike a chord. I remember reading Arthur Ashe’s autobiography several years ago which talked about the seasons of one’s life. “Take this love and you take it down.” This song speaks to what I want for myself. I have tried to fall in love several times. And I couldn’t handle the seasons of my life.  At my age would I take the risk of trying to build my life around someone?

I think I’m saying that the blue feelings that have dragged me down have lifted. I hope so but it takes a lot. I have to look around and think about what I do. I gave my business card to a stranger today. I told her that I was a community helper. That is my life. So I look in the mirror in the sky and ask what else is there? Take this love and take it down.

If you see my reflection, it will be me out there reflecting hope, recovery and a life worth living. Now that I am at this point I want to keep going. Landslide or not.

When I hear or read about people who have been married 50 years or more I am amazed. I also could not imagine that being me. My dreams change a lot as I grow older. I want someone to reflect my ideas and my hopes . I think about what it would mean to live for someone else and it scares me. So I am excited by the small hopeful feeling that told me to listen to that song and write about it and keep thinking something will happen this year.

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