Anyone who has never been diagnosed with a mental illness should leave this blog entry immediately
, because I’m not talking to you. I want to talk with people who have experienced trauma and gone on in their lives. There are more people than you would care to know who have had life changing events, such as abuse, witnessing abuse done to others, served in the military or witnessed the violent death of a loved one. In our gun obsessed culture we have more people solving their disputes through the final solution.
A young woman fighting about “he’s my man, bitch” may take it to the next level and kill her rival. At the same time she is traumatizing all of those who witness her act of brutality.
Young people know too many friends who have been shot and killed or severely injured. The experience of trauma is far too common and it needs to stop or we will not survive.
Our society also spends far too much time watching its royalty, either the so-called kings and queens of Europe or the wealthy elites around the world. We can enjoy the performances of these people without losing ourselves in their images and buying the products that they endorse. How many of us really need a pair of very expensive basketball sneakers? Hell, I couldn’t job all that high when I was young so I am buying an inexpensive pair that provides support. I realize that some athlete may lose out on the deal but I will be satisfied.
Most of the women I have been involved with as an adult have been in recovery from a severe mental illness. One of the major struggles in these relationships was whether I too had a mental illness. As it happened, I had a problem that I was unwilling to acknowledge for many years. My failure to acknowledge what I was experiencing cost me dearly.
Even more painful was the recognition that just because my significant others had acknowledged their issues did not make having a relationship any easier.When I wrote the title, why am I always opposite I had in mind the phrase “opposites attract.” A woman experiencing bipolar disorder today may act far differently than 5 years ago. Just as I act far differently today than I did 5 years ago.b I’m much quieter than I was, I like larger living spaces and I enjoy my own counsel more than ever. I have positive communications at work that never had seemed possible in the not too distant past.
I learned a lot from the way that I sabotaged my previous relationships. At first glance the woman I am dating currently is as different from me as night and day. But I am committed to seeing what we have in common and how it bring us together. I am tired of being the opposite of every woman that I meet. Sometimes it’s good not to be so different. Otherwise I may traumatize myself.
- Why ‘putting the lunatics in charge of the asylum’ can work | Mike Slade (guardian.co.uk)
- The final report of the peer support work group (hopeworkscommunity.wordpress.com)
- What Mental Illness is to Me Part II (kstruggles.wordpress.com)