One day I looked in a copy of The Onion, which is renowned for its fact based journalism and saw a picture of a guy in a tee shirt that proclaimed: local oddball. And I thought, that could be me I’m local and quite a strange person and with that I was well on the way to becoming a local oddball. I didn’t buy the tee shirt, because I have too many clothes already.
But my next inspiration was to begin spewing forth my inspiration to tens if not dozens of people across and upon the fair city of Milwaukee. I bought a trusty computer recommended by Riley C. Cat, who you will recognize as a cartoon character in one of my earlier stories and away I was swept. I pondered for a few minutes whether there were guidelines for being an oddball. If I acted a certain way, would I be considered quirky, offbeat or or a poser? You know, one of those types who is a straight laced accountant by day but when he takes off his Lutheranism in front of the computer becomes a Superfreak. This sounds like a character from Barely Political. But it wasn’t me.
I wanted to be recognized for who I am. Lately I have become more disturbed than ever upon having returned to my faithful computer and thrust myself upon it. When I checked the statistics of who was reading my pearls of wisdom, WordPress began telling me most of my readers were from outside the US. Yes, it’s true, dear reader.
Take yesterday, for example. I had readers from the United Kingdom, India, Haiti, Canada, Cameroon, Sweden, Singapore, Mexico and Honduras. I mean, who knew those places had Internet service? They edged out my local American readers in terms of quantification of enormity times py. And that’s really saying something because you know us Americans, we like to be number one. There were some unintended consequences of this sudden international readership. I received an email today from the International Association of Local Oddballs, of whom I am a loyal member. Apparently some local oddball who is truly more local than me has filed a complaint questioning my credentials and asking that I be re-classified as some other type of oddball. Hmm. Well, I used to be more local is like reminding people that I used to be taller.
Dear foreign readers, I appeal to your sense of fair play in this matter. I did not intend for you to outsource your blogging. I’m certain there are more local people in Cameroon, Singapore or Mexico for you to read about. In the meantime a committee has been convened to investigate these dastardly charges against me.